Tag: manners

The Lady’s Thoughts On Her Travel Experience

Travel annoyances are, alas, a universal occurrence in our present age, especially when traveling by air. I try to be an easy-going traveler as we are jammed into the Aluminum Tube and we must make do in a small space with hardly any leg room. In those circumstances, we are all suffering and I realize we cannot all be at our best. However as I observed and shared space with my fellow travelers yesterday, it was clear that it was to be a lesson in poor manners, indeed. At the very least it is a lesson in complete unawareness of those around you. 

Let’s begin with the security lines, which is not really etiquette related, but things that have become my peeves!

When I travel I dress for comfort, but I always wear proper shoes that are stable and cover the foot. I also always wear socks. I believe that going barefoot through the security line is a bad idea. To me, it is not simply a matter of aesthetics (many people have unattractive feet!) but, my biggest concern is how many other barefoot people have stood upon the footprints in the screening machine?

I believe that wearing crazy high heeled shoes and flip flops are a bad idea. If there is an emergency during which you will need to vacate the plane quickly, these shoes offer no protection or stability. They are a trip hazard and you may prevent others from exiting quickly in an emergency.

Standing where the carryon luggage comes out of the X-ray machine on the conveyor belt and putting on your shoes, jacket, arranging yourself etc…impedes the flow of the security line and holds everyone up. Every airport that I am in has benches a few feet from the conveyor belts. Grab your stuff and arrange yourself there.

Rant over.

Best Travel Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

A Bit of Advice from Emily Post: The Uncomfortable Houseguest

Cherished readers, The Lady Hooper-Brackett is happily perusing the new volume of etiquette wisdom that she purchased yesterday.

In one section of this book, titled “You Can Send Yourself a Telegram” Miss Post offers a suggestion for removing oneself from an uncomfortable stay in someone’s home. And the picture she paints of the uncomfortable is most dreadful: it involves a lumpy bed, a room filled with mosquitos, near a room with a wailing baby, and the temperature of the room approaching a hundred degrees. Goodness. That does seem like a hellish environment. Miss Post suggests sending oneself a telegram the next morning, presumably to call one home.

The Lady thinks this was a fine idea. She also is glad that we now live in a world with much more technology and options at our fingertips. In our day and age, we would not have to spend a night in hell and then extricate ourselves the next morning. We could text a friend, have them call under the guise of an emergency, and pack to leave immediately.

The two admonishments that Miss Post (and the Lady Hooper-Brackett!) give is that one must never let your host family know how miserable you were and no matter how bad your brief stay, you must never complain, divulge, or otherwise confide that the visit was anything other than pleasant.

Woe to the next person who stays in the hellish accommodations.

Best Guest Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Lady Goes Shopping

Cherished readers, I stepped out today to visit one of my favorite antique malls. This place is huge and has everything you could possibly want under one roof. I love to browse their large selection of books and have built my collection of vintage etiquette books from this one place. Today I was not disappointed.

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I found the 1945 edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette. Now, this is not the first copy of Emily Post that I own, but my other is a much newer edition. Part of why I enjoy collecting these volumes so much is that I am able to see snapshots of social mores and then compare them to other editions to see how much things have changed. I am positive that I will enjoy reading this and have even more fun sharing with you the nuggets of wisdom that I will glean from its pages. These old books are my textbooks!

So, while today is not a true blog about etiquette, I wanted to share with you my find. Back to the mannerly stuff tomorrow! I will find something from this book to touch upon for my next blog!

Best Shopping (and Reading!) Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Guest’s Guide To Gift Giving

As a tie-in to the previous post about setting the table for entertaining guests, let’s look at the nice custom of guests bringing the hostess a small gift as a thank you for putting on a wonderful get-together.

The guest need not spend a fortune or spend an inordinate amount of time searching for the perfect gift. These types of gifts, in my opinion, should be simple and useful.

Some items you may wish to consider when choosing a gift for your host:

A bottle of wine

A box of chocolates

A bouquet of flowers

Some lovely cocktail napkins

A box of pretty stationery

Non-perishable foodstuffs (jams, jellies, mustards etc..) in a gift box or set.

A beautiful coffee table book (I prefer photography or travel books)

Marble cheese cutter

If your host is an avid barbecuer, an apron or BBQ tool set

I’m fond of getting good deals on beautiful things so I suggest finding a sale at one of the better department stores on some of the items on the list and stocking upon these items to grab and go when you are asked over. I’ve found appropriate items that any host would be proud to display at Dillard’s and even TJ Maxx! 

Best Guest Gift Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Polite Regifter : Cheap or Thoughtful?

I’ve received many items over the years that did not fit, that I’d already owned, or that did not blend with my taste. I also believe that you should only own that which you will like and use. I’ve been a regifter of items that just do not work for me. I have received many questions about regifting…the most frequent one is “Dear Lady, is this practice acceptable?”

At my very heart, I do not believe in waste. If you possess something that you do not like but you know someone else will like, then I say without reservation that it is acceptable, but like everything else, there are some guidelines. Let’s take a look.

You may certainly never regift anything that has been personalized with your name or initials. One supposes that you may even do this if the recipient has the same initials, though, so there is even an exception to this. Still, I believe that even if the same initial circumstance exists, it is better to keep such things.

If someone took the time to crochet an afghan for you, or to knit a scarf , keep it. I believe that out of respect you should not regift it. 

If you have used it, you should keep it. Imagine the horror at giving someone a vase that has obviously been used, or a candlestick with wax on it (horrors!) If you must get it out of the house, donate it to a charity.

If you have no recollection of who gave you an item, do not regift it. You may unwittingly regift it to the person who gave it to you. I am quite sure that this would be extremely awkward.

And should you regift, please make sure that there is no card or letter from the original donor in the box you use. That, my cherished readers, would be an extreme faux pas.

Best Gifty Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett