theladyhooperbrackett

The Constant Interruptor

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

My husband is becoming an irritating jerk. He constantly interrupts conversations. No matter who is speaking. It is annoying to have to stop mid-sentence while he spouts his platitudes and interjects his nonsense. I’m fed up. What can I do?

Ready To Scream

Dear Ready To Scream,

Remember the part in your vows where you said for better or for worse. Well…you’ve entered for worse.

Dealing with someone who constantly interrupts is a huge challenge that requires some tact. You can always address this annoying behavior in the moment, stating calmly that you would appreciate the opportunity to finish speaking before he offers a response.

Another approach is to talk to him in private when things are calm. Tell him how being interrupted makes you feel and remind him that others also feel this way.

Unfortunately, there are people who just will not learn. My big concern is that he is doing this at work and it is affecting his prospects. That angle might be the best one to approach him with. Money talks.

Best always,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett.

A Snubbing?

And this came across my emails this week! I wonder how many people have dealt with this type of siutation?

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

I think we’ve been snubbed. We have not heard from a certain couple for about 8 months. Our last contact was us extending an invitation to dinner to which they attended. But we have not heard a peep! Should we reach out to them?

Appalled and Confused.

Dear Appalled and Confused,

By all means yes, make one last attempt. You don’t know if there has been an illness or other occurrence that kept them from communicating.

If nothing has occurred but you sense coolness from them, so be it.

But the petering out of your friendship will not have been caused by you.

Keeping Peace In The Family

I’d like to thank you for all the messages of gladness that I’ve returned! My email is overflowing with questions and this is the one that was at the top of the list this morning. It is not the typical question that I receive, but this might be helpful for other people going through the same thing.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

This Christmas was very rough for me and I need some clarity. I am the only one of my family that is of a different spiritual path.As I am the only one of us that lived close to my dad, my father gave me power of attorney in all of his legal matters, including the person he chose to make his arrangements after he passed. He had been ill for a time and wanted no stress for the family. He did not tell me what he wanted as far as a funeral or celebration of life. I chose to have a simple cemetery ceremony when he passed earlier this year with no church service. This has caused a lot of resentment from my siblings, especially my sister. She confronted me at Christmas and let me know just what she thought about what she calls my evil decision. I now have guilt wondering if I did the right thing? My Dad was not religious nor was he a churchgoer and I have not held to the tenets of the religion I was born to for many years. How do I deal with this as I want harmony again in our family?-B.W.

Dear B.W.,

First, my condolences on the loss of your dad.

Second, I believe that you did the best you could. With no instruction and knowing what you did of his religious feelings, a simple ceremony seems to be appropriate. I also feel that your siblings could have done a separate ceremony should they wish. If no one offered, move forward knowing that you did nothing wrong.

Last, I will say that your goal of harmony is a good one. I suggest that on the first anniversary of your dad’s passing you have a church service or Mass said in his honor? This might help to alleviate this tension. I wish you and your family the best and peace always..

A Very Happy New Year!

Hello, dear readers,

I’m not going to go into a long explanation as to my absence. I was gone. You noticed. I apologize.

Now that that is out of the way, let’s move forward in 2023!

Welcome back to our look at manners and the sundry ways people are annoying! Here is our first question for the New Year.

Dear Lady Hooper Brackett,

Once again my coworkers roped me into the office gifting pool, despite my repeated requests not to! I know, I could have better boundaries, but they made me feel bad. I am a thoughtful gift giver, but the absolute garbage they gave me pisses me off. Most of it is ending up in a donation pile to Goodwill. Am I wrong to feel slighted? Should I say something?

-Expert Gift Giver

Dear Expert Gift Giver,

While you have my sympathies, this is, as they say, how the cookie crumbles. Some people are not good at gift giving. Some people are on a budget and that ‘garbage’ might be the only thing they can afford. It is never in good taste to complain about gifts.

As an aside, I detest forced gift giving and forced office parties. While it may add somewhat to the joy of the season (or as the case usually is…just gives people time away from their desks during a workday) I find this type of thing tiresome. Genuine friends should exchange gifts, but no one should be forced to participate.

My only advice is to be gracious, don’t complain, donate the items, and refuse to take part next year and use budget concerns as your excuse. Be strong.

Best New Year Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Gracefully Declining When Someone Invites Themselves Along

Here’s a situation that I hear about quite a bit, though usually it is a friend or family member inviting themselves along. A coworker needs to be handled delicately.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

I have a business acquaintance who continually hints to me that she would like to travel with me one day. Whenever I mention that I am going somewhere she starts with the broad hints. “We should travel together. I also like going to ‘xyz’.” I continue to say nothing and ignore her each time. I would think that she would get the hint that I do not wish to travel with her. She is an extremely high-maintenance individual. Last year our company sent us to St. Louis for a week and while everyone else packed all they needed in carry on bags, she packed a huge checked suitcase along with her two carry ons. She is petulant and has a fit if she doesn’t get her way or things do not go as expected at work. The thought of being trapped in a room or a plane with her makes me cringe. How do I handle her pushiness?

Scared of Offending a Colleague

Dear Scared of Offending a Colleague,

Oh my dear, I offer these thoughts as response to your email.

Do you goad this woman into thinking you would be open to traveling with her?
Why do you continue to share your travel plans with her? Is it to show off?
Have you considered that she is lonely and looking for a friend? I am not dismissing your very valid feelings about traveling with her personally. I obviously know nothing about either of you, but generally difficult people become so from insecurity. Perhaps she wasn’t sure about her wardrobe choices being appropriate which is why she packed so much to take with her on your joint business trip.
Might you ‘day trip’ to local places of interest? This would give you both the opportunity to see a new place without the time or space commitment of being in a hotel room.

The bottom line is be kind. One never knows what struggles another has. And keeping peace at work is an important goal.

Best Peaceful Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett