New Year’s Diss: Why Did They Leave at 12:01?

Cherished readers, The Lady wishes you all a most Happy New Year! She was enjoying coffee and reading emails as is her habit in the morning and she found this correspondence there…sent to her at 116 AM this morning.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

I had our annual New Year’s party earlier. My husband and I invited about 40 people to celebrate with us and we had the usual food and beverages available. It took a lot of work, preparation, and planning to get things set up. The party started at 7 PM and things seemed to be going well. At 1130 we started to watch the festivities in New York and anticipated the ball drop. After much to-do and the countdown and obligatory toast to the New Year…three quarters of my guests decided to leave. The time was 12:01AM! Barely a minute past midnight!!! I am quite offended but am not sure that I should be. My husband says that it was a long evening for everyone and some of our guests needed to work today, but I cannot help but feel that it is rude to up and leave so close to midnight. May I have your thoughts? 

Ringing In The New Year With Aggravation

Dear Ringing In The New Year With Aggravation,

Ah, The Lady understands your pain. The Lady also understand the pain of those who must work or those who a bit of age on them. The Lady’s mother would often entertain on New Year’s (back in the Dark Ages known as the 80s) and would have a party much as you just described. As most of the people attending the party were older folks (by older The Lady means in their 70s and 80s) it was often the case that once the ball dropped, the champagne glasses were drained, and New Year kisses shared, these people had their coats on and were headed for the door! The Lady’s mother (indeed no one) ever complained because the family had spent an enjoyable evening in their company. The Lady begs you not to feel offended. There was nothing ill-mannered in their behavior. In fact, why not begin the New Year by extending the benefit of the doubt and being happy that you were able to share the end of one year and the start of the next in good company.

Best 2018 Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Food Friday: The Etiquette of Thanksgiving Leftovers

Cherished friends, here is an interesting question asked of The Lady, but one that is sure to apply to a number of people.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

For the past six years on the day after Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law has a party at her home. She feels that since we are all not together on the holiday proper, it can be a ‘second-edition’ Thanksgiving for us. She extends invitations to about a dozen of us in the family. My question is this: Is it really  acceptable for her to heat up her Thanksgiving leftovers and serve these items to us as she has been doing? Don’t get me wrong, her cooking is wonderful, but I can’t help but feel that it is a little rude to be served leftover food.  Who is correct here?

I Don’t Like Leftovers

Dear I Don’t Like Leftovers,

The Lady admits that she has never been asked this question before, so some time was needed to come up with a thoughtful answer.

  1. The Lady believes that since she is very upfront about this being a ‘second-edition’ Thanksgiving and is inviting family only, this is perfectly fine. The Lady wonders just what else you would be eating on the day after Thanksgiving if you weren’t eating turkey and all the fixings?
  2. Your sister-in-law is being gracious by providing a venue for you all to be together after not spending the holiday proper together. Her invitation is sent from affection.
  3. What’s wrong with eating food that is wonderfully cooked?
  4. The Lady is pleased to see that she will not be discarding perfectly good food, but sharing it with you all.

The one caveat to this that The Lady will add: It never seems proper to serve leftovers in any other circumstance than this one: Invite family or extremely close friends only and be upfront.

Try to be gracious yourself, even if you do not like leftovers.

Best Leftover Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Sunday Ask The Lady

Cherished readers, I am back with a new Ask The Lady.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

My lady, I have two questions.

  1. Is it appropriate for me to attend the wake of a neighbor that I only knew in passing? I would wave at this man and his wife every day when I would come and go from work, but I never said more than hello. I’m not sure if it would be uncomfortable to see his wife and I worry about saying the wrong thing.
  2. Are you all right? Where have you been? I missed your wit.

Courteous Neighbor

Dear Courteous Neighbor,

The Lady thanks you for your questions. and will start by answering your last one first.

The Lady has been busy on a consulting job and the time available in the day has been scarce.

Now to question two: Of course The Lady believes that you should attend the wake. It is the neighborly thing to do. While you did not say if these people were older folks, The Lady makes the assumption that they are. Think of how your neighbor’s widow must feel right now after losing her husband. Your presence and support, I am sure, will be a comfort to her. And if The Lady may offer further advice…there is nothing wrong with checking in on her in the future to see how she is doing.

Best Neighborly Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Sunday Ask the Lady: Dealing With Overly Friendly Pets

Cherished readers, The Hooper-Bracketts are definitely dog people. The Lady loves her little mixed-breed rescue dog (sometimes more than she likes people!) Today’s question comes from someone who doesn’t particularly like pets.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

Full disclosure: I think most pets are smelly creatures and can’t stand when I am visiting a friends house and I am bombarded with attention from their pets. How can I politely let my friend or the host know that I do not like to be around their pets? 

Not Pet Friendly

Dear Not Pet Friendly,

The Lady can assure you that not all pets are smelly creatures. With that being said, The Lady believes that the most polite way to explain why a pet cannot be around you is to simply say, “I’m so sorry, but I am allergic to your dog/cat/ferret/octopus/beetle.” A good host should immediately remove their animal companion so as not to cause the guest undue discomfort. The Lady is also sure that the pet will also be thankful to be removed from your presence since you object to them so strongly.

Best Pet Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

 

 

Manners Monday: TV Show Spoilers

Cherished readers, The Lady admits that she loves to watch Game Of Thrones, like most of the world that is able to get HBO. After last night’s show, she noticed that many people were creating status updates with ‘spoilers’ that would ruin the watching experience of those who had not partaken of the show yet. The question is this: Is it rude and unmannerly to post such things? The Lady has read angry posts and threats on social media toward those who are revealing all. Goodness….this is a modern etiquette problem.

The Lady advises thusly:

If you are creating your own status update/tweet/blog etc….it is courteous to preface the entry by informing others that you will be revealing things that may interfere with their enjoyment of the show if they have not watched yet. If you post such a thing and someone reads further, they have no right to be angry with you. You were honest from the start!

If, on the other hand, you go to someone else’s post and deliberately post a spoiler, you’ve basically asked for them to be angry with you and you cannot be confused or upset that they are. The Lady suspects that these people who post take a bit of aggressive glee in ruining things for others. This is extremely rude! Keep it to yourself or risk feeling more wrath than Cersei Lannister inflicted on the Sept of Baelor!

Best No-Spoiler Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

 

Food Friday: Decorum at The Table

Cherished readers, in the past week The Lady has gotten two questions  about dining away from home. Rather than answering them separately, this week’s Food Friday segment answers those questions about how to comport yourself, be it in a restaurant or at a friend’s home.

  1. Should you be a smoker, do not smoke at the table. The Lady is not sure any restaurant allows smoking anymore, so she will say that it is important to remember not to do this when in a friend’s or family’s home.
  2. Should you be in a buffet restaurant or at a party where there is a buffet line, do not fill your plate to epic proportions the first time around. You can always go back for more. (The Lady once saw a patron at a salad bar fill up their plate in an attempt to resemble Mount Everest!)
  3. Your dinner napkin is never tucked into the neck of your shirt. The Lady goes so far as to say that those plastic bibs they give you at New England restaurants when you order lobster are also a no-no.
  4. No fixing makeup at the table, or heaven forbid…combing the hair!
  5. Using at a toothpick at the table is frowned upon.
  6. Do not pick up a dropped utensil or anything else that may have fallen to the floor. Ask your hostess or waiter for a new one. Think how picking up the dirty implement will sully the table with all of the germs from the floor.

Best Dining Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Thursday Ask The Lady: Multi-Level Annoyance

Cherished readers, The Lady cannot be certain how widespread this issue really is, as the correspondent states she is from Texas, but The Lady  feels this might be something that some readers deal with regardless of locale.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

How do I politely say no to a woman who is involved in a multi-level marketing company who continually pesters me to try the latest and greatest product? I have never shown enthusiasm for the products at all, but at every turn she brings up the company, the marketing plan, and actually makes me feel as though there is something wrong with me for not wanting to join. The fact is, she and the other people who sell these products are pushy as hell and I have no desire to be in  their company. I am a proper Southern Belle Texas lady, but there are times I want to be rude and tell her to back off. 

Had Enough In Houston

Dear Had Enough in Houston,

The Lady is sorry that you are being seemingly targeted by this enthusiastic person who obviously is passionate about what they do. Their passion, however, should not infringe on your peace and quiet. The Lady sees nothing wrong with telling her flatly that while you appreciate her wishing to “spread the word” about products she obviously loves, you do not wish to try them, so please do not ask. Be firm. If she continues on her quest to get you to buy or sign, she is the rude one, and you have every right to remind her that you’ve spoken to her already about your feelings on this company. No is NO.

Socialization should not be a sales pitch. In The Lady’s opinion, truly effective sales efforts attract and do not attack.

Best Non-Salesy Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett