travel – The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Gracefully Declining When Someone Invites Themselves Along

Here’s a situation that I hear about quite a bit, though usually it is a friend or family member inviting themselves along. A coworker needs to be handled delicately.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

I have a business acquaintance who continually hints to me that she would like to travel with me one day. Whenever I mention that I am going somewhere she starts with the broad hints. “We should travel together. I also like going to ‘xyz’.” I continue to say nothing and ignore her each time. I would think that she would get the hint that I do not wish to travel with her. She is an extremely high-maintenance individual. Last year our company sent us to St. Louis for a week and while everyone else packed all they needed in carry on bags, she packed a huge checked suitcase along with her two carry ons. She is petulant and has a fit if she doesn’t get her way or things do not go as expected at work. The thought of being trapped in a room or a plane with her makes me cringe. How do I handle her pushiness?

Scared of Offending a Colleague

Dear Scared of Offending a Colleague,

Oh my dear, I offer these thoughts as response to your email.

Do you goad this woman into thinking you would be open to traveling with her?
Why do you continue to share your travel plans with her? Is it to show off?
Have you considered that she is lonely and looking for a friend? I am not dismissing your very valid feelings about traveling with her personally. I obviously know nothing about either of you, but generally difficult people become so from insecurity. Perhaps she wasn’t sure about her wardrobe choices being appropriate which is why she packed so much to take with her on your joint business trip.
Might you ‘day trip’ to local places of interest? This would give you both the opportunity to see a new place without the time or space commitment of being in a hotel room.

The bottom line is be kind. One never knows what struggles another has. And keeping peace at work is an important goal.

Best Peaceful Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Handling a Nosy Fellow Traveler

I totally sympathized with the sender of this question as she has much experience traveling with the general public and dealing with them.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

On a recent flight, there was a man who was one of the last to get on the plane and of course, he sat in the seat right beside me (the middle seat in a row of three). He had a faint odor of liquor, also, so I think he knocked back a few before boarding. I was on a business trip and once it was safe to do so, I began to work on my laptop. The man began to look at my screen and comment on the report I was working on! He went so far as to suggest edits!!! While it was nothing confidential (like a medical or financial report) I was taken aback by the ballsiness of this person. In frustration, I slammed the laptop shut and put it away. He then said in this ridiculous high and mighty tone, “Gee, I was only trying to help.” I said nothing, pulled out my eye shade, and pretended I was asleep. As an aside, I missed getting the pitiful drink and snack they serve because I just wanted him to think I was asleep and not deal with him. Any thoughts on this situation? Should I have told him off?

A Good Passenger

Dear Good Passenger,

I commend the restraint you showed and feels that you were wise to behave so. In the confined Aluminum Tube, it is best to control your temper. Bad enough to have a heated exchange with feet firmly on the ground, but at 33000 feet….well, one has seen the news about these types of things.

Obviously, it goes without saying that you did nothing wrong. While one wishes to not deal with these types of people, in the circumstances you found yourself in, it is best to ignore and be silent to the best of our ability. One never knows how volatile a person can be after a few drinks (as you stated) and it was best not to find out. So, let him be pompous, after a few hours, you won’t see him again.

I’m also sorry you missed snack service, although with the meager servings they give you these days, I’m sure your nutrition didn’t suffer that day.

Best Travel Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Lady’s Thoughts On Her Travel Experience

Travel annoyances are, alas, a universal occurrence in our present age, especially when traveling by air. I try to be an easy-going traveler as we are jammed into the Aluminum Tube and we must make do in a small space with hardly any leg room. In those circumstances, we are all suffering and I realize we cannot all be at our best. However as I observed and shared space with my fellow travelers yesterday, it was clear that it was to be a lesson in poor manners, indeed. At the very least it is a lesson in complete unawareness of those around you.

Let’s begin with the security lines, which is not really etiquette related, but things that have become my peeves!

When I travel I dress for comfort, but I always wear proper shoes that are stable and cover the foot. I also always wear socks. I believe that going barefoot through the security line is a bad idea. To me, it is not simply a matter of aesthetics (many people have unattractive feet!) but, my biggest concern is how many other barefoot people have stood upon the footprints in the screening machine?

I believe that wearing crazy high heeled shoes and flip flops are a bad idea. If there is an emergency during which you will need to vacate the plane quickly, these shoes offer no protection or stability. They are a trip hazard and you may prevent others from exiting quickly in an emergency.

Standing where the carryon luggage comes out of the X-ray machine on the conveyor belt and putting on your shoes, jacket, arranging yourself etc…impedes the flow of the security line and holds everyone up. Every airport that I am in has benches a few feet from the conveyor belts. Grab your stuff and arrange yourself there.

Rant over.

Best Travel Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett