Handling a Nosy Fellow Traveler

I totally sympathized with the sender of this question as I too have much experience traveling with the general public and dealing with them.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

On a recent flight, there was a man who was one of the last to get on the plane and of course, he sat in the seat right beside me (the middle seat in a row of three). He had a faint odor of liquor, also, so I think he knocked back a few before boarding. I was on a business trip and once it was safe to do so, I began to work on my laptop. The man began to look at my screen and comment on the report I was working on! He went so far as to suggest edits!!! While it was nothing confidential (like a medical or financial report) I was taken aback by the ballsiness of this person. In frustration, I slammed the laptop shut and put it away. He then said in this ridiculous high and mighty tone, “Gee, I was only trying to help.” I said nothing, pulled out my eye shade, and pretended I was asleep. As an aside, I missed getting the pitiful drink and snack they serve because I just wanted him to think I was asleep and not deal with him. Any thoughts on this situation? Should I have told him off? 

A Good Passenger

Dear Good Passenger,

I commend the restraint you showed and feels that you were wise to behave so. In the confined Aluminum Tube, it is best to control your temper. Bad enough to have a heated exchange with feet firmly on the ground, but at 33000 feet….well, one has seen the news about these types of things.

Obviously, it goes without saying that you did nothing wrong. While one wishes to not deal with these types of people, in the circumstances you found yourself in, it is best to ignore and be silent to the best of our ability. One never knows how volatile a person can be after a few drinks (as you stated) and it was best not to find out. So, let him be pompous, after a few hours, you won’t see him again.

I’m also sorry you missed snack service, although with the meager servings they give you these days, I’m sure your nutrition didn’t suffer that day.

Best Travel Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

TV Show Spoilers

I’ve noticed that many people post updates on social media  with ‘spoilers’ about popular shows that would ruin the watching experience of those who had not partaken of the episode yet. I’ve actually pondered this conundrum for a while as I have been asked to weigh in on it. Is it rude and unmannerly to post such things? We’ve all read angry posts and threats on social media toward those who are revealing all and I think this is a modern etiquette problem.

I advise you thusly:

If you are creating your own status update/tweet/blog etc….it is courteous to preface the entry by informing others that you will be revealing things that may interfere with their enjoyment of the show if they have not watched yet. If you post such a thing and someone reads further, they have no right to be angry with you. You were honest from the start!

If, on the other hand, you go to someone else’s post and deliberately post a spoiler, you’ve basically asked for them to be angry with you and you cannot be confused or upset that they are. I suspect that these people who post take a bit of aggressive glee in ruining things for others. This is extremely rude! Keep it to yourself  or risk being wished evil upon.

Best No-Spoiler Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Rudeness on a Shirt

*I apologize ahead of time for the allusions to curse words in this post*

As I have stated in an older post, mail time is a favorite event in the course of the day. Mixed in with the usual correspondence today was a catalog. On its cover a large banner proclaimed “MIX AND MATCH RED BOX SPECIAL Tees! But 2 or more for $18 each” Next to this was a photo showing just a few of the 96 different varieties of T-shirts available. One of the T-shirts in the sample photo had emblazoned across the front “I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I need it.”

Some other statements that you, too, can make with your clothing for the low price of $18 included:

  1. Friday is my second favorite F word.
  2. I’m up, if you’re expecting bright-eyed and bushy-tailed go catch a fr&#$ing squirrel.
  3. And yet despite the look on my face you’re still talking.
  4.  I turn beer into pee. What’s your super power?

I could list more, but I won’t. I am sure most people see these as being jokes and funny, simply novelty items to stick in a drawer and never wear. But let’s hope that  impressionable people don’t think that it is perfectly fine to go around offending people. By all means, in the privacy of one’s own home these are not offensive. BUT! By their very design they are made to shock and offend and I cannot help but be dismayed to see these things for sale.

Best Clothing Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Manners for Wedding Guests

I love a good nuptial celebration…and realize some people may need to take a refresher on what is considered good etiquette for wedding guests (or prospective guests) Let us take a look a few general guidelines:

  1. Answer all invitations promptly. A general rule is to respond within a week of receiving the invitation.
  2. Although I see formal invitations sent less and less, should you receive one that is written in the third person, it must be answered in the same way. If a reply card is enclosed (which to me means that it is semi-formal) you indicate your acceptance or regret on the card.
  3. It is bad taste to ask to be invited to a wedding even if you feel you have a close relationship with the bride or groom.
  4. If, after accepting an invitation, it becomes necessary to cancel, call the bride or groom and explain why as soon as possible.
  5. Asking to bring a friend to the wedding is bad form.
  6. Do not ask to bring your children if they haven’t been invited. Even if they are invited, consider their maturity levels before accepting for them. One of the worst things to deal with at a wedding is the bored or hyperactive child who runs around hell-bent on annoying people.
  7. It is rude to skip the ceremony and only attend the reception.
  8. You are not obligated to send a present if you simply receive a wedding announcement. However, if you are given an invitation to the wedding, customarily you are expected to send a gift even if you do not attend.
  9. Remember that the day belongs to the happy couple. It is especially important not to do anything that will take attention off of them. (No inebriated toasts!)

Best Guest Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Basic Manners for Children

At a recent tea-time my friends and I had a conversation about Children’s Manners. While some of my friends felt that children (and people in general) have gotten much ruder lately, the general consensus is that the wee little ones take well to manners and etiquette if you teach them early. I have compiled a list of basic manners that I feel all children over the age of five can practice:

-to say hello pleasantly to people they meet and to look people in the eye when speaking

-to speak when spoken to

-to get along with their siblings, cousins, and other children

-to show respect for older people

-to say “Thank you”, “Please,” “I’m sorry”, “Excuse me”

-to not interrupt others while they are speaking

-to remember the basic etiquette rule of never calling attention to oneself and to not raise merry hell, scream, or otherwise cavort in public.

-to shake hands

-to respect the property of others and not touch or play with other people’s things unless invited to do so

-to respect the privacy of others

These are the basic building blocks of etiquette that every  child needs. More instruction in this fine art and we can change the world!

Best Etiquette Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett