Category: Tuesday Tea-Time Thoughts

Basic Manners for Children

At a recent tea-time my friends and I had a conversation about Children’s Manners. While some of my friends felt that children (and people in general) have gotten much ruder lately, the general consensus is that the wee little ones take well to manners and etiquette if you teach them early. I have compiled a list of basic manners that I feel all children over the age of five can practice:

-to say hello pleasantly to people they meet and to look people in the eye when speaking

-to speak when spoken to

-to get along with their siblings, cousins, and other children

-to show respect for older people

-to say “Thank you”, “Please,” “I’m sorry”, “Excuse me”

-to not interrupt others while they are speaking

-to remember the basic etiquette rule of never calling attention to oneself and to not raise merry hell, scream, or otherwise cavort in public.

-to shake hands

-to respect the property of others and not touch or play with other people’s things unless invited to do so

-to respect the privacy of others

These are the basic building blocks of etiquette that every  child needs. More instruction in this fine art and we can change the world!

Best Etiquette Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Extinction of the Home Economics Class

I was with friends, reminiscing about our high school days. Ahh, nothing like the memories of youth. (Though I acknowledge that I would not want to go back and re-do high school.) The group was unanimous that one of their favorite classes was Home Economics. One of the ladies in the group is a teacher and it seems that, according to her, Home-Ec is no longer taught. She said that it is not just in her district, but everywhere. She says that the material is no longer relevant.

This seems to be a travesty.  I remember my co-ed Home-Ec class as being fun and informative. It taught valuable life skills and gave students, at the very least, a minimum knowledge about cooking, home care, family responsibilities etc…And lest you think that I am severely ancient, she graduated from high school when George H. W. Bush was president and Barbara Bush wore her lovely strand of pearls.

I know that times change, but I cannot help but feel saddened that current students will not know the fun of cooking something new, learning cooking techniques, and learning to sew a simple skirt or pillow. These skills boost one’s confidence that one can care for themselves and others. It seems that modern education forgets this.

Best Home-Ec Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Culling The Christmas Card List

It happens every year! The subject of the etiquette of culling the Christmas Card list. Specifically,  the protocol to choosing who gets the boot.

Well, of course there is a protocol (in my humble opinion)

When I was growing up, I often heard my grandmother and mother say that the best way to reduce the number of names on the Christmas Card list was to keep track of who you sent cards to  the year before and if they did not sent one back, they were stricken from the list and blackballed from holiday greetings. This has been the technique that I’ve used in my adult life. I remember one fine Yuletide when I had mailed out 121 holiday greetings only to receive 28 back. Needless to say, that year was a huge cull!

“But, dear Lady, ” you may ask, “what if I strike someone from my list who will be offended?” If they send you a card, send one to them. But, it has become increasingly more obvious that people WANT to cut down on their lists. So they will probably not be offended.

Best Card Sending Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Bane of “Have a Good One”

I caused a little stir among my friends when I expressed my feelings on this topic. I’m sure that more people are going to disagree with me on this subject. I complained that one my biggest pet peeves is being told to HAVE A GOOD ONE. Everywhere you go from the bank to Burger King to the grocery store to the doctor’s office, when you thank the person taking your money more often than not they tell you to “Have a good one!”

Have a good what exactly????

Drink of water? Vacation? Marathon? Oh….you mean DAY!!!! At first I thought this might be a regional thing peculiar to New England and then she discovered on her travels that this seemed to be prevalent everywhere.

Some might ask: What’s the big deal? I refuse to say Have a Good One because it sounds vulgar…this ‘good one’ can be any number of unsavory things. To be clear…I am as much against ordering someone to Have a Good Day. I much prefer the kindly and mannerly Hungarian custom that Lord Hooper-Brackett explained to me of wishing someone a good day: “I wish you a good day”. That sounds much more civilized.

I know that manners change, but I still can’t help longing for the days before “Have a good one” became the norm.

Wishing You All A Good Day,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Surprise Party

Ahhhh I was asked how mannerly it is to plan a surprise party for someone that has stated they do not want one.

My very short answer: It isn’t. At all.

If the person of honor has made it very clear that they do not wish to be surprised, you do not surprise them. EVER. Not for the fun of it or to make everyone happy or because it would be a great thing to see their shocked face. The celebration is not for you. And you will risk seriously making your loved-one upset if you go ahead and plan such a function against their wishes.

The only time that a surprise party is warranted is when you know with absolute certainty that they enjoy surprises or have expressed the desire to one day have a surprise party. I would like to state for the record that in no circumstance would I want a surprise party and would probably lose all sense of decorum if I walked into one thrown in her honor.

Take into consideration these points:

The surprisee may not be properly dressed for a party

The surprisee may not have had their makeup, nails, or hair done and these things may be of the utmost importance to them (I attended a surprise party of a friend who entered her home after digging in her flower beds and covered in dirt…her husband was banished to the couch for a month after this incident)

The surprisee might be feeling unwell

The surprisee might just want to avoid people because they are a curmudgeon (and that’s OK!)

Best Surprise Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett