Tag: life

Basic Manners for Children

At a recent tea-time my friends and I had a conversation about Children’s Manners. While some of my friends felt that children (and people in general) have gotten much ruder lately, the general consensus is that the wee little ones take well to manners and etiquette if you teach them early. I have compiled a list of basic manners that I feel all children over the age of five can practice:

-to say hello pleasantly to people they meet and to look people in the eye when speaking

-to speak when spoken to

-to get along with their siblings, cousins, and other children

-to show respect for older people

-to say “Thank you”, “Please,” “I’m sorry”, “Excuse me”

-to not interrupt others while they are speaking

-to remember the basic etiquette rule of never calling attention to oneself and to not raise merry hell, scream, or otherwise cavort in public.

-to shake hands

-to respect the property of others and not touch or play with other people’s things unless invited to do so

-to respect the privacy of others

These are the basic building blocks of etiquette that every  child needs. More instruction in this fine art and we can change the world!

Best Etiquette Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Choosing a Honeymoon Destination

Someone posed this question and it took me a day or so to come up with answer. But I think my opinion might have been helpful to these folks!

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

All of the preparations for my wedding are going smoothly except for choosing where to go on our honeymoon. My fiance is an outdoorsman and wants to have an active honeymoon with fishing and hiking. I would rather go to museums and relax. I’m not saying this is actually causing us to fight, but my fiance has made the point that this is the only vacation he will get this year (he just started a new job and is limited on his days off). Help, please. Do you have any suggestions?

Harried Honeymooner

Dear Harried Honeymooner,

I empathize with your problem because, quite frankly, I went through the same thing with Lord Hooper-Brackett. You ask for help and suggestions…here they are:

  1. You should choose something that you will both enjoy. This trip begins your married life together and should be one of pleasant memories and not the first battle of wills in the marriage. Remember: manners and consideration are more important than ever in a happy household.
  2. You do not say if you wish to stay in the United States or go abroad, but I suggest France as a destination that will fit both of your interests in nicely. Paris a large walking city (hiking!!!) and is filled with museums to satisfy you (not to mention the wonderful food) and then you may take a day or two so your groom can indulge in fishing in Brittany.
  3. If the United States is your choice: Savannah, Georgia and Newport, RI offer fishing and cultural experiences. Actually any coastal city on the East Coast (by virtue of being part of the original colonies) should have a mix of history and recreation which will satisfy both of you.

I could exhaust myself making suggestions. My best advice: make this trip a reflection of you both as a couple. And try the fishing excursion. Even if you only sit on the boat and cheer him as he reels one in, your togetherness is all that matters.

Best Honeymoon Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Extinction of the Home Economics Class

I was with friends, reminiscing about our high school days. Ahh, nothing like the memories of youth. (Though I acknowledge that I would not want to go back and re-do high school.) The group was unanimous that one of their favorite classes was Home Economics. One of the ladies in the group is a teacher and it seems that, according to her, Home-Ec is no longer taught. She said that it is not just in her district, but everywhere. She says that the material is no longer relevant.

This seems to be a travesty.  I remember my co-ed Home-Ec class as being fun and informative. It taught valuable life skills and gave students, at the very least, a minimum knowledge about cooking, home care, family responsibilities etc…And lest you think that I am severely ancient, she graduated from high school when George H. W. Bush was president and Barbara Bush wore her lovely strand of pearls.

I know that times change, but I cannot help but feel saddened that current students will not know the fun of cooking something new, learning cooking techniques, and learning to sew a simple skirt or pillow. These skills boost one’s confidence that one can care for themselves and others. It seems that modern education forgets this.

Best Home-Ec Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Etiquette of Leftovers

With an increased interest in economy and saving money, more people are using all of their leftovers. But this question involves serving them at a social gathering.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett, 

For the past six years on the day after Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law has a party at her home. She feels that since we are all not together on the holiday proper, it can be a ‘second-edition’ Thanksgiving for us. She extends invitations to about a dozen of us in the family. My question is this: Is it really  acceptable for her to heat up her Thanksgiving leftovers and serve these items to us as she has been doing? Don’t get me wrong, her cooking is wonderful, but I can’t help but feel that it is a little rude to be served leftover food.  Who is correct here?

I Don’t Like Leftovers

Dear I Don’t Like Leftovers,

I admit that I have never been asked this question before, so some time was needed to come up with a thoughtful answer.

  1. I believe that since she is very upfront about this being a ‘second-edition’ Thanksgiving and is inviting family only, this is perfectly fine. I wonder just what else you would be eating on the day after Thanksgiving if you weren’t eating turkey and all the fixings?
  2. Your sister-in-law is being gracious by providing a venue for you all to be together after not spending the holiday itself together. Her invitation is sent from affection.
  3. What’s wrong with eating food that is wonderfully cooked?
  4. I’m pleased to see that she will not be discarding perfectly good food, but sharing it with you all.

The one caveat to this that I will add: It never seems proper to serve leftovers in any other circumstance than this one: Invite family or extremely close friends only and be upfront.

Try to be gracious yourself, even if you do not like leftovers.

Best Leftover Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Keeping Peace In The Family

I’d like to thank you for all the messages of gladness that I’ve returned! My email is overflowing with questions and this is the one that was at the top of the list this morning. It is not the typical question that I receive, but this might be helpful for other people going through the same thing. 

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

This Christmas was very rough for me and I need some clarity. I am the only one of my family that is of a different spiritual path.As I am the only one of us that lived close to my dad, my father gave me power of attorney in all of his legal matters, including the person he chose to make his arrangements after he passed. He had been ill for a time and wanted no stress for the family. He did not tell me what he wanted as far as a funeral or celebration of life. I chose to have a simple cemetery ceremony when he passed earlier this year with no church service. This has caused a lot of resentment from my siblings, especially my sister. She confronted me at Christmas and let me know just what she thought about what she calls my evil decision.  I now have guilt wondering if I did the right thing? My Dad was not religious nor was he a churchgoer and I have not held to the tenets of the religion I was born to for many years. How do I deal with this as I want harmony again in our family?-B.W.

Dear B.W.,

First, my condolences on the loss of your dad. 

Second, I believe that you did the best you could. With no instruction and knowing what you did of his religious feelings, a simple ceremony seems to be appropriate. I also feel that your siblings could have done a separate ceremony should they wish. If no one offered, move forward knowing that you did nothing wrong.

Last, I will say that your goal of harmony is a good one.  I suggest that on the first anniversary of your dad’s passing you have a church service or Mass said in his honor? This might help to alleviate this tension. I wish you and your family the best and peace always..