food – The Lady Hooper-Brackett

The Etiquette of Leftovers

With an increased interest in economy and saving money, more people are using all of their leftovers. But this question involves serving them at a social gathering.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

For the past six years on the day after Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law has a party at her home. She feels that since we are all not together on the holiday proper, it can be a ‘second-edition’ Thanksgiving for us. She extends invitations to about a dozen of us in the family. My question is this: Is it really acceptable for her to heat up her Thanksgiving leftovers and serve these items to us as she has been doing? Don’t get me wrong, her cooking is wonderful, but I can’t help but feel that it is a little rude to be served leftover food. Who is correct here?

I Don’t Like Leftovers

Dear I Don’t Like Leftovers,

I admit that I have never been asked this question before, so some time was needed to come up with a thoughtful answer.

I believe that since she is very upfront about this being a ‘second-edition’ Thanksgiving and is inviting family only, this is perfectly fine. I wonder just what else you would be eating on the day after Thanksgiving if you weren’t eating turkey and all the fixings?
Your sister-in-law is being gracious by providing a venue for you all to be together after not spending the holiday proper together. Her invitation is sent from affection.
What’s wrong with eating food that is wonderfully cooked?
I’m pleased to see that she will not be discarding perfectly good food, but sharing it with you all.

The one caveat to this that I will add: It never seems proper to serve leftovers in any other circumstance than this one: Invite family or extremely close friends only and be upfront.

Try to be gracious yourself, even if you do not like leftovers.

Best Leftover Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

How Much Food To Serve

I’ve found that I’ve been asked this question in one form or another several times. Here is one version that I think accurately reflects the worries that some folks have about entertaining.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett

My son is being married at the church of his fiancee, which happens to be in New York City. We live in Boston as do many of our friends and family who are invited to the wedding and reception. We will all be carpooling or taking the train to NYC (which you can imagine is costing the group of 48 both time and money) The bride and her family have decided to serve only “light refreshments” at the reception. And by light she means tea-time finger sandwiches, champagne, and small dainty desserts in addition to the wedding cake. Am I wrong to feel that they should serve something a little more substantial? Especially with the groom’s family numbering so many and traveling such a distance. I’ve offered to contribute and they politely refuse.

Starving Mother of The Groom

Dear Starving Mother of The Groom

First I will say what you want me to say: HOW AWFUL! They should be ashamed at serving such meager cuisine.

Now I will say this:

Traditionally, the bride’s family hosts the reception and provides the apres-nuptial bounty. In our modern times, there seems to be more cost-splitting going on, but this is the traditional role that the bride and her family play. Basically, what they are serving is perfectly acceptable. Even if they would choose to serve only the wedding cake and punch or champagne, that is entirely correct.

NOW, with that being said…as you have been rebuffed in your efforts to contribute to the food kitty, I advise this:

Since all of the starving Bostonians are traveling together anyway, after the wedding reception, find a restaurant in the city where you can play hostess, pay for the cornucopia of vittles, and eat as much as you like. Your relatives will have full tummies and can travel home in comfort.

Best Wedding Wishes

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Decorum at The Table

I had gotten two questions in short succession about dining away from home and how to comport yourself, be it in a restaurant or at a friend’s home. Here are good reminders for us all.

Should you be a smoker, do not smoke at the table. I’m not sure any restaurant allows smoking anymore, so I will say that it is important to remember not to do this when in a friend’s or family’s home.
Should you be in a buffet restaurant or at a party where there is a buffet line, do not fill your plate to epic proportions the first time around. You can always go back for more. (I once saw a patron at a salad bar fill up their plate in an attempt to resemble Mount Everest!)
Your dinner napkin is never tucked into the neck of your shirt. I go so far as to say that those plastic bibs they give you at New England restaurants when you order lobster are also a no-no. (Don’t come at me…I know they are there to save clothing…but I still believe they are not totally appropriate!)
No fixing makeup at the table, or heaven forbid…combing the hair!
Using at a toothpick at the table is frowned upon.
Do not pick up a dropped utensil or anything else that may have fallen to the floor. Ask your hostess or waiter for a new one. Think how picking up the dirty implement will sully the table with all of the germs from the floor.

Best Dining Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Six Course Formal Dinner

I am asked about the courses to serve at a formal dinner more times than I can remember each year. I realize that these occasions are few and far between for most folks, so I tolerate the repetitiveness. There is certainly nothing wrong with a little knowledge even if on repeat! I base my thoughts here on the advice and training I received from numerous etiquette books and apply these guidelines to my own entertaining.

Six courses is the maximum number to serve at even the most formal of gatherings. More than this and your place settings will be huge and your guests confused. Try to remember the food preferences of those you’ve invited, but certainly do not apologize if they don’t like something you serve. They may take a token serving and leave it on their plates.

Choose one: Fresh fruit cup, soup, shellfish or melon. The shellfish selection may include oysters, shrimp, or clams. BEWARE those that do not like shellfish. It might be wise to stick with soup.
Fish course (which you would omit if you served shellfish in the first course) or a dish such as sweetbreads (not sweet breads. Google if you don’t know what this is. As an aside, I prefer to serve the fish course as a matter of courtesy for those who will not eat sweetbreads.)
The entree, which may be chicken, turkey, or roast beef. You may also consider a vegetarian option for those who are not meat eaters.
Salad. The salad may also be served with the entree in a separate side dish. It is entirely correct to serve the salad after the entree, despite the custom to serve it first in restaurants.
Dessert
Coffee (or tea, port wine, brandy)

A well-balanced menu is imperative and should be easy to achieve with this number of courses. Strike a balance between rich dishes and the more simple ones.

The appearance of the food should also be considered. Think of color…don’t serve all white foods with white sauces on white plates (Ohhhh how boring!) Don’t serve all sweet or all savory dishes. Aim for a beautiful balance so that the foods may be enjoyed thoroughly.

Arrange vegetables neatly in the serving dish. Arrange the meats neatly, also, rather than just piling them high on a platter. Make it interesting for your guests. Appeal to all of the senses!!!

Best Dinner Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Okie Dokie Artichokie

People seem confused about how to eat asparagus and ask me over and over about them and also because we Hooper-Bracketts like to eat them here at the estate. There’s no need to be intimidated by this dish.

The artichoke is a study in contrasting textures. You have the tender leaves, the inedible fuzzy ‘choke’ and finally the soft heart. Did you know that the artichoke is in the thistle family? When we cook it and eat it, it is an immature thistle bud. Here is the artichoke in all of its blooming glory:

But as we are not interested in growing it…let’s get back to consuming it.

When you are served an artichoke, you must remember that it is a finger food. You pull the leaves off (one at a time), dip the meaty base into the sauce that is served with the artichoke (usually a hollandaise or a lemon butter) and then pull the leaf through your teeth to scrape off the end dipped in sauce. You would then place the inedible part of the leaf on the side of your plate. (Be neat!) You will proceed with each leaf in this fashion until you reach the center where you will find the fuzzy ‘choke’. Remove this fuzzy layer with a spoon, but don’t scrape too deeply…you want to keep the best part intact: The heart. You may cut heart into small bits and dip in the sauce.

Best Food Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett