life – The Lady Hooper-Brackett: Etiquette. Manners. Advice.

Etiquette on Wheels

There are days that I long for the easier days of horse and buggy travel. At least everyone seemed to be going at the same pace. Today when The Hooper-Bracketts venture out, it is an adventure, to say the least. Let us examine good and proper etiquette when driving our mechanical chariots.

Speeding is unmannerly. Speed limits exist for a reason and if you are one of those that enjoys running up to the bumper of the car in front of you and then swerving around, I turn up my nose at your buffoonery.

Driving too slowly is unmannerly. And this is most especially true if one is driving slowly in the fast lane…also known as LollyGagging. Move to the slow lane.

Distracted driving is unammnerly. During each drive, I see people texting or using the handheld phone. Stop it, now! There is NOTHING that is more important than arriving safely…no call, text, Facebook post.

Merging bufoonry is unmannerly. I’m going to catch hell for this because I know all about the zipper merge. But I also know that in New England, this rarely works. I include both drivers who will not allow others to merge and those that see the merge signs five miles back and merge at the last minute in the same boat of rudeness. Be courteous!

Also unmmannerly:

The habit of not using the turn signal (blinker or more commonly blinkah where The Hooper-Bracketts are from) is dangerous and rude.

Blowing one’s horn for no reason other than to hear it blare is the height of rudeness. One should only trumpet to avert danger, not to vent frustration.

Driving with the high beams on (horrors!) will earn you a stern look from me if I see you out and about.

Remember: drive courteously!

Best Driving Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Dealing With Overly Friendly Pets

The Hooper-Bracketts are definitely dog people. I love my little mixed-breed rescue dog (sometimes more than I like people!) This question comes from someone who doesn’t particularly like pets.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

Full disclosure: I think most pets are smelly creatures and can’t stand when I am visiting a friend’s house and I am bombarded with attention from their pets. How can I politely let my friend or the host know that I do not like to be around their pets?

Not Pet Friendly

Dear Not Pet Friendly,

I can assure you that not all pets are smelly creatures. With that being said, I believe that the most polite way to explain why a pet cannot be around you is to simply say, “I’m so sorry, but I am allergic to your (insert animal type).” A good host should immediately remove their animal companion so as not to cause the guest undue discomfort. I am also sure that the pet will also be thankful to be removed from your presence since you object to them so strongly.

Best Pet Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Handling a Nosy Fellow Traveler

I totally sympathized with the sender of this question as I too have much experience traveling with the general public and dealing with them.

Dear Lady Hooper-Brackett,

On a recent flight, there was a man who was one of the last to get on the plane and of course, he sat in the seat right beside me (the middle seat in a row of three). He had a faint odor of liquor, also, so I think he knocked back a few before boarding. I was on a business trip and once it was safe to do so, I began to work on my laptop. The man began to look at my screen and comment on the report I was working on! He went so far as to suggest edits!!! While it was nothing confidential (like a medical or financial report) I was taken aback by the ballsiness of this person. In frustration, I slammed the laptop shut and put it away. He then said in this ridiculous high and mighty tone, “Gee, I was only trying to help.” I said nothing, pulled out my eye shade, and pretended I was asleep. As an aside, I missed getting the pitiful drink and snack they serve because I just wanted him to think I was asleep and not deal with him. Any thoughts on this situation? Should I have told him off?

A Good Passenger

Dear Good Passenger,

I commend the restraint you showed and feels that you were wise to behave so. In the confined Aluminum Tube, it is best to control your temper. Bad enough to have a heated exchange with feet firmly on the ground, but at 33000 feet….well, one has seen the news about these types of things.

Obviously, it goes without saying that you did nothing wrong. While one wishes to not deal with these types of people, in the circumstances you found yourself in, it is best to ignore and be silent to the best of our ability. One never knows how volatile a person can be after a few drinks (as you stated) and it was best not to find out. So, let him be pompous, after a few hours, you won’t see him again.

I’m also sorry you missed snack service, although with the meager servings they give you these days, I’m sure your nutrition didn’t suffer that day.

Best Travel Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

TV Show Spoilers

I’ve noticed that many people post updates on social media with ‘spoilers’ about popular shows that would ruin the watching experience of those who had not partaken of the episode yet. I’ve actually pondered this conundrum for a while as I have been asked to weigh in on it. Is it rude and unmannerly to post such things? We’ve all read angry posts and threats on social media toward those who are revealing all and I think this is a modern etiquette problem.

I advise you thusly:

If you are creating your own status update/tweet/blog etc….it is courteous to preface the entry by informing others that you will be revealing things that may interfere with their enjoyment of the show if they have not watched yet. If you post such a thing and someone reads further, they have no right to be angry with you. You were honest from the start!

If, on the other hand, you go to someone else’s post and deliberately post a spoiler, you’ve basically asked for them to be angry with you and you cannot be confused or upset that they are. I suspect that these people who post take a bit of aggressive glee in ruining things for others. This is extremely rude! Keep it to yourself or risk being wished evil upon.

Best No-Spoiler Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Manners for Wedding Guests

I love a good nuptial celebration…and realize some people may need to take a refresher on what is considered good etiquette for wedding guests (or prospective guests) Let us take a look a few general guidelines:

Answer all invitations promptly. A general rule is to respond within a week of receiving the invitation.
Although I see formal invitations sent less and less, should you receive one that is written in the third person, it must be answered in the same way. If a reply card is enclosed (which to me means that it is semi-formal) you indicate your acceptance or regret on the card.
It is bad taste to ask to be invited to a wedding even if you feel you have a close relationship with the bride or groom.
If, after accepting an invitation, it becomes necessary to cancel, call the bride or groom and explain why as soon as possible.
Asking to bring a friend to the wedding is bad form.
Do not ask to bring your children if they haven’t been invited. Even if they are invited, consider their maturity levels before accepting for them. One of the worst things to deal with at a wedding is the bored or hyperactive child who runs around hell-bent on annoying people.
It is rude to skip the ceremony and only attend the reception.
You are not obligated to send a present if you simply receive a wedding announcement. However, if you are given an invitation to the wedding, customarily you are expected to send a gift even if you do not attend.
Remember that the day belongs to the happy couple. It is especially important not to do anything that will take attention off of them. (No inebriated toasts!)

Best Guest Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett