Tag: etiquette

Manners in Conversation: Dangerous Topics

I am sometimes asked about general guidelines for conversation for those times when one may have to be around others whose views and beliefs are unknown to you. It is always better to be circumspect; remember the goal of all etiquette is to put people at ease. Here are a few items to be extremely careful of when chatting!

  1. Money is a dangerous topic, especially directly asking someone what something costs or how much they earn. The person who is asked such questions, has every right to ignore the asker. 
  2. Age is a subject to be deftly avoided due to the sensitivity some people have about their age. Let’s face it, yes…if you are entering a contract with someone, then the question is appropriate, but not in general social situations. If someone asks you how old you are, feel free to ignore this one, too. 
  3. Gossip can cause all sorts of problems. Avoid being the spreader of this muck. Want to stop a gossiper? Ask them pointedly “How do you know this?” It is funny how most gossipers won’t be able to answer.
  4. Advice is only given if it is asked for, and even then, I’d be uncomfortable giving it.
  5. Religion and politics….avoid at all costs. Yes, even in this time of wicked polarization on both subjects.
  6. Avoid criticizing your own family members publicly, even if you do not like them. I can’t tell you how many business deals have been lost due to the optics this causes. Why would anyone want to do business with someone who has no loyalty to their family?

Best Conversational Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Writing Thank You Notes: Someone Gave Me a Gift of Money.

I am often asked about the proper procedure for writing a note thanking someone for their gift of money (or even a gift card, as this is also common). Some of my readers are unsure where to start, so I have included a sample letter after my basic guidelines.

I believe that a true and proper letter…pen and paper!…is the only way to thank the person who has sent you a gift. No texting or emailing.

The amount of money gifted to you is never mentioned, no matter how large it may be. It is proper to say what you intend to use the money for and you may also include some comments on life or inquire after the person you are writing to.

A sample letter:

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday! I have deposited your gift in my living room furniture fund for when I move out in the fall. I hope you will come visit me when I am in my new apartment. I am excited to have my very own place!

How are you and Smith? I hope your own move to Miami went smoothly and that Mr. Smith is doing well at his new job.

Thank you again for your generous gift. I hope to see you soon!

With love,

Susie Grateful

As you can see, the note needn’t be long, but it must be sincere. In addition to expressing thanks, Susie asked after Mr. and Mrs. Smith as she remembered it is nice to recall details about others. Susie will  get high marks from Mrs. Smith!

Best thankful wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett

Serving and Eating Corn on the Cob

Summer is coming…and corn will be served.

I bet you didn’t think people ask me about eating corn on the cob, but they do!!!.

Corn on the cob is a delightful side dish that is served only at the most informal of gatherings. The very eating of the corn from the cob can be quite messy, so one would certainly NOT serve it to those wearing their most formal clothes. So how can one graciously consume this summertime staple?

Grasp the ends of the corn cob firmly and rather than eating it in large mouthfuls…be mindful of how things look and eat in neat little rows all the way across the cob. Also, when buttering or salting the cob, do just a few rows at a time. To do the whole cob at once will result in a slippery mass in your hand and quite possibly grease stains on your shirt.

It is proper to cut the corn off the cob with a knife, but be careful or your poor cob might slip from your grasp and make a unholy mess.

Toothpicks become a necessity when serving corn on the cob, so if you are the hostess have them available for your guests. And if you are a guest…remember…no picking the teeth at the table. 

Best corny wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett