Wedding Wednesday: Removing the Engagement Ring

Cherished readers, The Lady hopes you all had a wonderful day yesterday, especially my fellow Americans who celebrated Independence Day. The Lady spent it in the company of family and friends eating the traditional fare of burgers, hot dogs, potato salad and such. There were no worries about calories or nutritional value. A beautiful day, indeed.

One of the young people in the Hooper-Brackett clan is recently engaged and she came to the party ready to show off her beautiful new ring. The Lady heartily approved of the good taste her fiance showed in choosing this particular ring. A problem arose, however, when the young couple wanted to join a game of baseball and the newly engaged young woman wished to remove her ring in order to do so. Her fiance was aghast and claimed to all and sundry that this was bad luck! The young people turned to The Lady for advice. (How she sometimes feels like Solomon!)

Here are The Lady’s thoughts on this matter:

To believe that removal of the engagement ring is bad luck is a quaint old mindset. To remove a large and expensive ring to protect it while playing sports, doing dishes, or even digging clams is an intelligent practice. The engagement is neither made nor broken by the wearing of the ring…the agreement of the person asked is what creates the engagement. The only time there should be concern over the removal of the ring from the finger is if it is thrown at the fiance and the words “It’s over” are spoken.

Best Ring Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett



How Similar Must Our Etiquette Backgrounds Be? A Fiancee’s Conundrum

Cherished reader, The Lady Hooper-Brackett is fortunate to be acquainted with many people and enjoys all of my friendships immensely. Recently, I was emailed by the daughter of a dear friend and asked my opinion :

The man to whom I am engaged comes from a family that is completely lacking in any sort of manners. They think I am fussy and cold and much too much of a nitpicker, and I think they are rude, crude, and basically barbarians. I am thinking of ending the engagement because when my fiance is with them, he follows their lead and acts like a boor. Should I end the relationship?

Well, you can imagine my dismay at reading the poor girl’s letter.  She is in quite a pickle, indeed.

Without telling what her to do, I pointed out a few important things:

  1. You have no right to dictate to his family that they should change and adapt your standards of manners.
  2. They have no right to ask you to change, either.
  3. You do, however, have every right to expect that you and your fiance will come to an agreement as to the standards you, he, and your future offspring will live.
  4. Relationships and/or marriages are more harmonious when people have similar backgrounds, and manners are a big part of backgrounds.
  5. If he is unwilling to establish the standards for the new family unit you are about to become, then I would think long and hard about marriage to him.

The Lady Hooper-Brackett maintains that it is easier and less expensive to break off an engagement than it is to get a divorce.

Best Mannerly Wishes,

The Lady Hooper-Brackett