As a follow up to the similar manners problem that my friend’s daughter wrote to me about, it came to my attention that my friend’s daughter did indeed end things with her fiance. She did it in an odd way, what I have heard younger people refer to as “ghosting.” Being a Gen Xer of a curious mind, I googled this “ghosting” procedure.
I learned much as I researched, but the fact is this ghosting is nothing new. This technique has been around for ages. I read many opinions from people who think that ghosting is cowardly, but I must say that I cannot find anything that would smack of poor manners. To the contrary, I believe that ghosting just might be the easiest sort of breakup there could be.
Let’s face it, if you were on the receiving end of a relationship coup de grace, isn’t it easier to have your beloved stop answering the phone and fade away in your memory rather than have them tell you outright that they can’t stand you anymore? Isn’t the illusion that is left when they ghost easier to take than being told that you are the most boring person they’ve ever known? Think about it…when the ghosting is done, you can continue to think about the good times and smile. A face to face breakup will only shake your confidence and make you second guess everything you think is so great about yourself.
So yes, I am in favor of the exit that makes little fuss, creates little stir, and still maintains the self-esteem of the one who is left.
Best Ghostly Wishes,
The Lady Hooper-Brackett